‘Cheat back’ is now the advice

In these desperate times, where men face endless “play away” options, every man who values his family should take a moment for serious self-reflection. There is a pressing need for sexual discipline among married men, as nothing communicates disrespect to a wife more than a husband’s sexual recklessness.

As social media increasingly preaches the “cheat back” philosophy to married women, husbands should realise that not all wives will dismiss this rhetoric. Some hurting or angry women may take such advice to heart, and this can have devastating consequences for their marriages.

Reckless behaviour by married men is one of the culprits destroying homes. A nagging wife, as uncomfortable as it may be, is far safer for your marriage than a cheating wife. When a woman gives her body to another man, it often marks the final, significant act of someone who has mentally checked out of the marriage. At that point, her compassion and loyalty to her husband are gone.

It is a wife’s loyalty to her husband that sustains her faith in the marriage. Once that loyalty erodes, the home becomes vulnerable to all kinds of external influences. Deep down, even you know that whatever fleeting pleasure you are chasing outside your marriage is not worth jeopardising your family for.

Social media is dangerously indoctrinating wives, and those who are angry, bitter, or deeply hurt are likely to embrace these toxic narratives. Some wives are quietly battling sexually transmitted diseases repeatedly, as a result of their husbands’ infidelities.

Many men, although physically present at home, are emotionally and mentally absent. Their inability to put their phones down to focus on their wives and children only deepens the disconnect.

A marriage should never deteriorate to the point where your sole significance in the home is measured by the money you bring in.

I have observed enough failed marriages to confidently conclude that a man’s life is never the same after losing a woman he should not have let go. Life happens, but don’t let it be your own undisciplined choices or carelessness that bring about the disintegration of your marriage. Starting over in marriage is no walk in the park—ask around. More often than not, we learn the hard way that no one is truly “greener grass” once you get close enough.

One of the greatest struggles for many women is their inability to recognise their own worth. What can young ladies on social media, who have barely experienced life, teach someone who has weathered the storms of marriage for seven to 10 years or more? If you have lasted this long, please understand that the solutions to improving your marriage lie not out there but within you.

Your dignity is something you should never compromise, no matter the situation. If a man’s foolishness pushes you to degrade yourself by “cheating back,” you have effectively thrown your dignity into the mud. Cheating to retaliate is a glaring sign of a lack of self-love.

I wish I could tell you that “cheating back” will make you feel better, but deep down, you know the truth—it only leaves you emptier. How is it even logical or helpful to sleep around to prove a point in your marriage? Instead, let self-love and self-care be the ways you make your statement. These choices will leave you far more fulfilled.

Your values in marriage should not be dictated by a man’s behaviour but by your relationship with God. Stop living as if God is incapable of handling your challenges. Seek wholesome ways to live your life to the fullest, and hand over your concerns to God—He knows how to fix everything.

In all you do, choose the path you know God will approve of. This makes all the difference. Your body is too precious to become anyone’s “plaything” just to make a point. Even after having five children, see your body as nothing less than gold. There is a strong correlation between how a woman feels about her body and how accessible she becomes to fun-seeking men.

If you stop seeing a man—whether husband or not—as the ultimate “be-all” of your life, the idea of using your body to settle marital scores will become unthinkable. Many women have yet to realise that they can rely on self-love, self-care, and God’s love to manage marital crises.

Using your body to settle scores is one of the poorest decisions a woman can make. Learn to respond to life’s circumstances with self-love. And remember, the husband you’re scheming to get back at might be elsewhere, moaning on top of another woman, completely unbothered by what you’re doing with your body.

It is far more honourable to walk away from a dysfunctional marriage than to cheapen yourself by sleeping around.