Discussing Portable, Apostle Suleiman, Fufeyin and the Chosen (2)

Apostle Suleiman continued with his imaginary testimony, claiming, “I now came (up) with a strategy. The strategy I came up (with) will close down the company; I was praying, (and) the Lord said, ‘Forgive’. Querying God, Suleiman asked, ‘Ehn, for what!?’ (The Lord responded), ‘Forgive’.

Playing the victim card, Suleiman grieved loudly, “Three years! Do you know what that means!?’ Three years! And I only used the plane for three months. Full plane o, no bi motor; plane. And after three years, I was praying one day (when) the Holy Ghost said, ‘If the trumpet sounds now, you won’t go to heaven.’”

So, the Almighty Suleiman cross-examined God, asking, “Why?” To which God said, “Because of unforgiveness.” The fearless Suleiman looked at his God in the face and thundered, “Father, are you aware what they did to me!?” That was godson Suleiman arrogantly questioning his godhead, sounding as if he was ready to crush his God like David crushed Goliath, should the private jet exchange degenerate into a brawl.

Using what I propound as CCTV Theory – Conflict, Capture, Trial, and Victim manipulative techniques – Suleiman subtly uses CONFLICT to CAPTURE the minds of his audience, preaching stoicism and courage in the face of TRIAL, with the VICTIM card firmly in his breast pocket.

He uses the CCTV Theory in many of his preachings, though at varying degrees. In the fabricated scenario painted above, Suleiman, knowing the penchant of humans for the dramatic, sets up a phantom CONFLICT between himself and his anonymous aviation services company, using the CONFLICT to CAPTURE his listeners’ minds before taking them on the road of TRIAL, with him being the VICTIM. Wow! Take a bow, Apostle Johnson Suleiman, GCFR, CCTV!

It’s not in every situation that Suleiman is the victim, I must clarify. In the private jet issue, for instance, the nameless aviation engineering services company was also a victim, like Suleiman himself was.

Archbishop Tunde Odesola doesn’t need Apostle Johnson Suleiman’s type of anointing to know that the plane in question was Tokunbo. If I was a fraudulent Man of Dog, I would have dressed up in a tight-fitting Safari suit, raised my shoulders like a male peacock on heat, walked the length of the pulpit like a cocky cat, and swore it was the Holy Ghost who revealed to me the plane was Tokunbo.

But anyone with a mustard-size brain functioning in their skull knows that a three-month-old brand-new plane would not need servicing/repairs within the first three months of purchase if it was used for private purposes because if death didn’t snatch the male hero of a family, the Yoruba say a woman would not be named ‘Kumolu’.

Like the Boeing 737 MAX airliners, which were grounded in 2019 by America’s Federal Aviation Administration, following the discovery of a systemic fault, an aeroplane can be recalled or grounded by government authorities or its manufacturers over safety concerns. The late Professor of African Literature, Pius Adesanmi, died in an Ethiopian Airlines’ Boeing 737 MAX plane, which crashed in Addis Ababa airport a few minutes after take-off.

Boeing, according to a CNN report, “has lost $32 billion since 2019, with no end in sight,” but still enjoys a unique duopoly of being one of the only two manufacturers of full-size passenger jets in high demand by airlines. The other company is the Airbus. The CNN report published on May 3, 2024, submits that despite the duopoly, the market is shrinking for Boeing, tracing the airline manufacturer’s downturn to safety concerns over their airliners.

The statement by Suleiman that every part of an aircraft must be changed yearly, ‘whether you use the aircraft or you don’t use it’, is the type of lie told to an idiot by a manipulator who says that simultaneous rainfall and sunshine were signs that the tiger was giving birth in the jungle.  That was a destiny-discouraging lamba told to a congregation whose majority have never seen an aircraft in their lives. That was wicked.

It’s true there are Life-Limited Parts (LLPs) in plane servicing. According to essexaviation.com, an LLP is ‘any part for which a mandatory replacement limit is specified in the type of design, the instructions for Continued Airworthiness, or the maintenance manual’. But trust Suleiman to tighten the noose by creating an air of overbearing opulence to CAPTURE the minds of his congregation, deliberately misleading them by saying all the parts of a plane need changing during yearly servicing. How can you change ALL the parts of a plane during yearly service? Mark you, plane servicing entails basic routine procedures such as oil changes and checks on vital components.

The Nigerian mentality of corruption in private and public business conduct must have thoroughly messed Suleiman’s mind up that he thinks an aviation company could seize his aeronautical toy deploying underhand tactics typical of the Alaba International Market trader who wants to force a commodity on the shopper. He wants his followers to believe that his Tokunbo plane (not brand new) was super special and that some people were envious of it like kids on a playground envy their bicycle-owning playmate, saying, ‘má a gbé kèké e lo, aò bá e seré mó.

I laugh in Ijesa. It was after wasting three years that the Apostle realised he had a God who could shut down the plane-withholding company. Three long years of waste and gnashing of teeth. Has Suleiman forgotten what the Lord Jesus said to the unproductive tree He saw by the roadside? Matthew 21:19 narrates the account, “Seeing a fig tree by the road, He went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then He said to it, May you never bear fruit again’. Immediately, the tree withered.” And Suleiman’s plane wasted away unproductively for three years.

In another tragic lie, Suleiman De Aposteli performed a miracle in his church, where worshippers received miracle alerts of huge dollar deposits in their accounts. For me, it’s not only the shamelessness of the lies that rankles, it’s the concoction of the lies, its rehearsal, and the audacity to come forward and present it to the public that is nauseating.

Talented singer, Portable, gleefully calls himself a Madman. The world hails him because the name is from the heart.  Besides his madness, however, there are two other areas of tremendous improvement in the life of Portable. They are his imbecility and nauseating nature. I wish he joins these two – Imbecile and Nauseating – to the Madman appellation he proudly bears to generate the acronym MIN.

But why won’t Portable slap the unknown cleric when transactional gospel, manipulation, corruption, and filthiness are the burnt offerings offered on the altars of most popular clerics nationwide?

I went to St Paul Primary School, Idi Oro, Lagos State. The railway track from the Ido Terminus passed beside my school to Mushin, Oshodi, Agege to Abeokuta, Ibadan, Osogbo…

One day, I was walking back home in the rain with my classmate, Boye Ogunrinumi. We loved walking on the rail track because we believed it made the journey faster. Above the din of the rain, I heard the blast of the small, one-coach train we called ‘Olómo Ku’ya’.

I looked back in time to catch a glimpse of the train hurtling down behind us. I jumped sideways and landed on the grey pebbles. I was badly hurt; I had broken a bone or two and couldn’t get up. I looked out for my friend. I couldn’t find him, I called his name many times to be doubly sure, what stared me in the face was horrible. Boye had been run over by the heartless train. And it didn’t stop.

Shivering and vomiting in the rain, I began to cry, my body bleeding and aching as I watched the mess of grounded meat and blood Boye had become. But his bag escaped. I cried.

All of a sudden, before my very eyes, in the rain, the grounded meat and blood and bones came together, like it does happen inTom and Jerry cartoons, first forming Boye’s skeleton, and flesh covered up the skeleton and I had Boye back beside me, walking on the same track back home as we sang, “We’re a Chosen, who are you?”

If members of the Lord’s Chosen Charismatic Revival Ministries think they have a monopoly of false testimonies, they’re kidding. I challenge them to an open contest.

Watching the videos of the Founder, Christ Mercyland Deliverance Ministry, Effurun, Delta State, Jeremiah Fufeyin, I clearly saw the difference between profit and prophet though the two have the same pronunciation. Fufeyin’s miracles are the Pro Max version of Suleiman’s. They are false, tragic, vicious, and repulsive.

Fufeyin is already down on all four, there’s no point beating down a ‘Man of God’ whose commercialised miracle items, NAFDAC alleged, bore fake NAFDAC registration numbers. That was a criminal offense. I eagerly await the day NAFDAC will arraign Fufeyin and his cohorts in court.

I have a word of caution for those who bought the River Jordan miracle water. I’ve been to River Jordan many years ago, it’s a smelly river – owing to pollution. If the miracle water sold to you doesn’t smell, it’s fake.

In Nigeria, Christianity and Islam have been turned into cash cows by some men of God. Sad.

• Concluded.