My marriage…With Ben Okeke

How did you meet your wife?

I met my wife, Chichi, through a friend who spoke glowingly of her and gave me her phone number. We talked on the phone all night, and when we met in person, I was captivated by her beauty, gentle nature, and intelligence.

Was it love at first sight?

Not exactly. Our love grew with time. When I met her, I was ready for marriage, but I was considering three other people. I initially chose one of the other ladies until I realised I had inner peace whenever I spoke with Chichi. She had all the qualities I wanted in a woman. I always wanted to marry an intelligent lady in the medical profession, someone not too demanding, and a true child of God.

At what point in the relationship were you certain that you would marry her?

When I first proposed to her, she did not accept, but that rejection made me more interested in her. As our communication increased, I realised that my love for her was growing. I admired that she was not desperate and was well-behaved. My love for her grew to the point that I proposed to her on the phone before I did so in person again.

Was money an important factor for you before settling down?

At the point when I was about to settle down, money was not a big factor. Yes, as a man, you should have a stable income. I had that and a good job, but I did not want to marry a housewife. I wanted her to be career-oriented, and she was in her finals. She proceeded to do her housemanship after our wedding, and I was there for her to ensure she was established.

What event on your wedding day was most memorable for you?

On our wedding day, Chichi was dressed at my madam’s house, a woman who was like a mother to me, while I was attired from my place. We were wedded at the Redeemed Christian Church of God. When I saw my wife in her wedding gown, my heart leaped for joy for choosing the right woman. It was a sweet memory that I still cherish.

As a financial guru with a busy schedule, how do you relax with your family?

Family is everything, and I don’t play with my family time. Although my work mostly takes me away from my family, whenever I have a chance to work fortnightly, I go to see my wife and children in another city. Each time I visit, we spend time together, talk about everything, and go to the barbing salon, my wife’s office, and even the market together.

What are the lessons that marriage has taught you?

Marriage has taught me a lot and made me a better man. I used to be very hot-tempered, but being with a woman requires a lot of tolerance and calmness. I thank God for giving me a good woman who suited my personality. When our children started coming, I realised that as the head of the home, if I got angry, things wouldn’t work out well, so I started to change. Marriage has also taught me the ideals of commitment and made me realise that you have to decide to love your partner and choose to make your marriage work.

What advice would you give to young people intending to marry?

You have to pray before deciding who to marry. I know there is a modern tendency to minimise the importance of prayer, but in my experience, I prayed before God led me to my wife, even though I had three other ladies in mind. You need spiritual guidance to avoid wrong relationships. Make sure you marry a kind person, make inquiries, and ensure your intended spouse has someone they listen to. For a marriage to succeed and be enjoyable, it has to be done according to God’s principles and obedience to His will.