Negative gestures can send the wrong signals to your spouse

Negative gestures are types of body movements that are presented to express the lack of interest or defiance during interaction. In marriage, they can be displayed as persistent act of insolence towards a partner with or without awareness. They can reveal the true emotions of a spouse whether he/she is feeling sad, angry, uncomfortable, vulnerable, insecure, or remorseful. Negative gestures can be exhibited in form of behaviours such as eye contact, tone of voice, keeping silent, walking away and postures.

Playing the silent game

Some people find it easier to play silent if the conversation is beyond their comprehension. Pretending to be absent is an act of resistance. If your spouse is fond of playing this silent game during conversation, this can be her own defence-mechanism especially if she is withholding certain information from you. It is an unhealthy response that can undermine the possibility of seeking resolution after a conflict and can hold your marriage back from having a peaceful resolution.

Giving eye-contact

The most powerful tool of engagement during a conversation is an eye contact. However, this can be expressed in a negative form depending on the circumstances or the individual disposition. An eye contact can express negative emotions such as anger, displeasure, low self-confidence, dishonesty, and control. A spouse who stares at you intensely during a discussion is sending a message either seeking your attention or trying to take control of the discussion. An unpleasant stare can mean that your spouse is unhappy and discontented while an avoidance of eye could be a lack of confidence or guilty conscience.

WALKING AWAY

They say that “He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day”. One of the negative gestures your spouse can display is walking away during an argument. Even though this gesture can be seen as showing maturity to avoid escalating the situation, on the other hand, it can be a negative gesture when it is done without putting your spouse into consideration especially during conflict resolution. It is considered disrespectful when you make your spouse feel undermined to avoid sharing your own opinion.

THE VOCAL TONE

A person’s voice can say a lot about his personality and the way they are likely to behave around other people including their spouse. Your tone of voice plays a key role in communicating and connecting with your spouse and it can send a negative signal too. A negative tone can be intimidating and frighten your spouse away leaving her feeling scared and anxious around you even when you do not have a bad intention.

POSTURES

The body posture has a significant impact on how an individual is feeling and can be a hint to determine the personality. A negative posture can signal your spouse’s present emotions and attitude which can further trigger his/her behaviour if the situation becomes unpleasant. It is important to observe your spouse’s body posture during interaction such as crossing of the arms over the chest expressing a defensive attitude and the lack of enthusiasm to continue the conversation. The crossing of the legs is also a negative posture which can indicate that your spouse is feeling anxious and uncertain due to lack of confidence. Both postures are likely to leave your spouse on the other side of the conversation feeling confused or suspicious.