Older men demand sexual favours for employment due to my condition – Hearing-impaired entrepreneur

In this interview with TEMITOPE ADETUNJI, 29-year-old Damilola Salabiu opens up about how her hearing loss at the age of six reshaped her life. Despite numerous challenges, she defied the odds, teaching herself to lip-read and navigate a school system that lacked support for her condition

Can you recall your earliest memories of hearing loss?

About 23 years ago, I experienced a life-changing event that shaped me into who I am today.

As a child, I was exceptionally bright and had the opportunity to start school early. Life was enjoyable, filled with laughter and learning until I contracted measles. Initially, we thought it was just malaria, but my condition worsened. For an entire year, I went in and out of the hospital, accumulating medical bills and selling family properties.

After a year of struggle, I recovered and was discharged. My health improved significantly, until one day, while sitting outside enjoying the cool breeze, I was touched by my mom, who had just returned. I realised she had been calling my name repeatedly. I apologised, explaining that I hadn’t heard her. This surprised her, as it was unlike me.

The same thing happened when my dad called, and I didn’t respond. We realised something was wrong and had to return to the hospital for tests.

The diagnosis was “profound bilateral hearing loss.” We were advised to try hearing aids, but my parents, financially drained from my previous illness, couldn’t afford them. That’s how I lost my hearing to measles at the age of six.

But the most surprising thing was that my once eloquent speech became impaired, and my eyes were also affected. I could no longer speak normally as I once did, and I had to frequently go to the hospital for eye checkups and treatments.

Can you give us insight into your family background?

I come from a family of six, where I am the second child and second daughter. I have an older sister and two younger siblings—a boy and a girl. I come from a Christian background, and we love and respect each other deeply.

I’m from Ijebu Ode in Ogun State. My mother is a trader and I grew up in a polygamous home.

Growing up, did you have access to resources like sign language classes or any special educational support?

Growing up, I had no access to sign language or special education. Instead, I relied on lip-reading to communicate. At 25, I discovered sign language and began learning. It’s been a challenging journey, but I’m committed to improving.

Becoming deaf at the age of six must have been challenging. How did your family respond?

When I lost my hearing, my family was shocked and concerned. As time passed, they adapted to the changes and accepted me for who I am. Initially, communication was challenging because they didn’t know sign language, but today, they understand me much better.

I’m forever grateful for their unconditional love and support, which has made all the difference in my life.

What is your level of education?

I hold a certificate in Community Health from the prestigious College of Health Technology, Ilese Ijebu, Ogun State.

What were the initial challenges you faced in school and everyday life due to your condition?

School life was incredibly challenging. I faced discrimination, bullying, and abuse due to my hearing loss and speech impediment. Communication was a significant barrier, as nobody understood me. As the only deaf student in a class of 70, I felt isolated and alone.

Each day, I dreaded going to school, feeling anxious and depressed. However, towards the end of my final year, things changed. I made friends who accepted me for who I am.

To cope, I relied on lip-reading and self-study throughout my academic years. At home, I often felt ignored and disconnected, as if my opinions didn’t matter.

But everything shifted when I learned to love and accept myself, embracing my uniqueness. I started receiving overwhelming love and support from people online and offline, many of whom I’d never met. I’m truly grateful for this transformative journey.

Can you tell us the most difficult aspect of adjusting to life without being able to hear?

Social interactions were the most challenging for me. I often felt left out or misunderstood due to communication barriers. I avoided social gatherings, outings, and reunions because I feared meeting new people and struggling to read their lips. I worried that others wouldn’t understand or accept me.

To cope, I retreated into my own world, distancing myself from social interactions, even though it felt lonely. Another challenge was explaining to people why I don’t answer calls and why my phone is often on silence.

How did losing your hearing impact your relationships with friends and classmates at a young age and even when you became older?

Initially, friendships were difficult. As I mentioned earlier, no one wanted to associate with me; they saw me as a kid because of the way I spoke. However, later on, I found supportive peers and mentors. As I grew older, I learned to communicate more effectively and build meaningful relationships.

What inspired you to keep pushing forward despite the obstacles you faced?

The desire to become a better person, my firm determination to succeed against all odds, and the fear of not being able to afford my needs drive me forward. Additionally, seeing others overcome similar challenges inspires me to keep pushing.

Can you share any instances where you felt misunderstood or discriminated against due to your hearing impairment?

I’ve faced several instances of discrimination, but one that left a huge scar in my heart was when I gained admission to study as a Community Health Extension Worker.

The entire process felt unfair. People looked down on me, and no one wanted to believe in me or the abilities I possessed. I was cheated using power and connections. I will never forget that experience. But today, I know better. I know when and how to stand up for myself. I will never let anyone cheat me, take my place, or intimidate me. I’ve learned to advocate for myself and others.

How did you approach learning and education after becoming deaf?

After losing my hearing, everything changed. I couldn’t return to my old school, and communication became a significant obstacle. Determined to adapt, I taught myself lip-reading. Despite these challenges, I never attended a special school for the deaf. Instead, I started over in Primary One, rather than continuing from Primary Three.

Academically, I faced numerous hurdles. During tests, I would wait for my classmates to finish before the teacher could assist me. For notes, I relied on borrowing from peers after class, which was especially difficult near exam time.

Many lecturers struggled to understand me, but I appreciate the few who made an effort. Important school announcements were also a challenge, as getting someone to explain them in detail was often daunting. Yet, despite these obstacles, I remain grateful for my journey.

Are there tools, technologies, or communication methods that have been especially helpful?

I communicate by reading lips and through written communication. Technology, such as video calls and messaging apps, has been incredibly helpful. Thanks to these tools, communication has become much easier.

Have there been any mentors or role models in the deaf or disabled communities who’ve influenced or inspired you?

Many deaf advocates inspire me greatly. Their achievements prove that deafness, or any other form of disability, is not a limitation.

What are some of the common misconceptions people have about individuals who are deaf?

People often mistakenly assume that deaf individuals face insurmountable communication barriers, are illiterate, or cannot fully participate in society. However, I’ve encountered many deaf individuals who have achieved great things.

Thanks to advancements in sign language and special education, communication has become easier. Deaf individuals now pursue careers in fields such as driving, healthcare, nursing, law, accounting, and more.

A harmful misconception is that all deaf people are unintelligent or “wicked.” This couldn’t be further from the truth. Being deaf does not equate to being dumb, and deaf individuals are not inherently wicked. We are peaceful people who desire understanding, acceptance, and love—free from discrimination.

Have you encountered challenges in finding employment or in professional settings because of your hearing impairment?

Yes, I’ve encountered numerous challenges as a deaf individual in a world that isn’t very accommodating. After completing my education, I applied to various hospitals, companies, and households, only to be rejected due to supposed communication barriers. Some potential employers, often older men, even proposed inappropriate conditions, seeking sexual favours in exchange for employment.

This exploitative environment, compounded by the country’s inadequate support, has been heartbreaking. However, I’ve shifted my focus from job hunting to growing my own business.

Are you in a relationship?

For me, relationships have been a source of frustration. I’ve found that many men today lack seriousness, and the true meaning of a relationship has been lost. My past experiences have been disappointing. I have dated men who professed deep love, only to secretly marry someone else. I have also been in relationships where the man’s family didn’t accept me because of my hearing impairment. Some simply wasted my time.

These experiences have led me to realize that many men only sought to take advantage of me, without genuinely considering a future together. As a result, I’ve stopped investing emotionally. Recently, however, I met a man online who has become a close friend. We’ve met in person, and there’s a mutual connection. While we both acknowledge the chemistry, we’re choosing to maintain friendship for now.

Was there a time you felt rejected or mocked?

I’ve endured rejection and mockery repeatedly—at school, at home, and beyond. While the experiences were painful, I’ve chosen not to dwell on them. Instead, I’ve developed resilience and learned to shrug off hurtful comments. You could say I’ve grown a thick skin.

What do you do for a living?

I’m a multi-faceted entrepreneur with a passion for healthy living. I produce and sell sugar-free Zobo drinks that are uniquely crafted. Beyond beverages, I’m skilled in baking and sewing. In fact, 95 per cent of my wardrobe is handmade by me.

How do you maintain a positive mindset and stay motivated through tough times?

Reflecting on my journey, I realise it’s too late to turn back now. I’m committed to pursuing my dreams, cultivating self-love, and nourishing my soul with uplifting books. To stay motivated, I focus on practising self-care and personal growth. I expand my knowledge through reading, embrace new experiences, reframe my thoughts for a positive mindset, and seek guidance through prayer.

What advice would you give to other individuals, especially young people, who may be experiencing hearing loss?

To fellow individuals, especially young people facing similar challenges, I offer this advice – embrace your uniqueness and love yourself unconditionally.

Believe in yourself and your abilities, acquire knowledge through education or vocational training, seek support, speak up when lost, and advocate for yourself and the deaf community.

Don’t be afraid to try new experiences, travel, and showcase your talents to the world. Prioritise happiness and refuse to let hearing loss define your potential.

It’s not going to be easy, I know, but with determination and firm resolve, you will succeed. Go out there and make a difference. You’ve got what it takes. You can achieve everything you set your mind to. Always remember that your dreams are valid. I love you, and I’m rooting for you every step of the way.

How do you plan to continue inspiring others through your journey?

My future aspirations include continuing to advocate for the deaf community, inspiring others through public speaking engagements, and sharing my personal experiences to promote understanding and empathy. Furthermore, I plan to pursue higher education in either Public Health or Pharmacy, expanding my knowledge and skills to make a greater impact.