Very interesting encounters (v)

The appropriate title for this encounter would have been “The danger of emulating Oyibo people!”

I ordered espresso at a mall overseas. They asked “double or single”, I said “double”. They nodded. My first shock was the tiny cup it came in.

I was expecting something in a big paper cup … that can at least quench my thirst. Isn’t that why I said ‘’double’’? As I stood staring at the tiny cup that now housed a dark-brownish liquid.

A voice said (from behind) “espresso normally comes this tiny. Cappuccino or (can’t remember the second stuff he mentioned) would have been ideal for you”.The rude Nigerian-girl in me almost blurted I KNOW but I chose to bite my tongue, instead. Anyway, this was even before the main shock.

I cat-walked my way to a seat, sat down and crossed my legs to sip espresso and….the thing is bitter! At this point, I felt a pair of eyes on me and I looked up. It was that same voice (a white man) that tried teaching me earlier and I was doing ‘’I too know’’.

He had a knowing smile on his face. If that man had heard a “village girl” before, he met one on that day! Anyway…that was how I left espresso alone and ate my brownie in peace.

At a domestic airport, some months back… A young man walked up to the line of seats that I sat on and sat down. We said “good morning” to ourselves. And the next thing I heard was “you are beautiful.” I pretended like I couldn’t hear him with a “what did you say”. And he repeated himself.

More assuredly, this time

We use a cautious “thank you” to receive this kind of compliment from men.

I mean, our ears are full! Anyway, that was how I found myself drawn into sundry conversations with him…from politics to challenges of young people’s economic growth in Nigeria.

He is an impressive conversationalist, I must admit.  And he has a commanding perspective on political matters of the land. However, as our conversation progressed, something else seemed to take his eyes in other directions even while he talked. Every light skinned lady that passed by…his eyes would follow her to wherever she went to sit, until the next light skinned one walks by.

All these, he did without missing what he was saying. How do men do it?

I mean, how are men able to coordinate all that (eyes here and mind elsewhere)?

Someone like me would have started talking jargon once my eyes are not where my mind is. Seriously Speaking….

An important energy we should all nurture in this age is being present in moments that are important enough to engage our time. It’s one of the habits that will help us experience life in full.

If our conversation was a grave one, in those his ‘wandering’ moments, I may have said an important thing that would be lost on him, because his mind was not completely there.

I always tell people that when you give certain information to people and fail to receive an expected response from them, firstly make sure they heard you right.

Their mind may not really be there even if they are staring at you.  This same energy of divided attention is what many people bring into marriages and relationships with loved ones. The marital institution of this age is full of people who are in it but not really there.

Their minds are always on the next “to do” …to the total negligence of the persons in their lives. Some of us still look back with tears and a lot of ‘’I just wish’’ when it dawned on us that our parents are gone forever,because, there’s just so much more that we would have done differently, if given a second chance with them.

One regrettable incident readily comes to mind

I had gone downstairs to find my father seated one morning and I sat beside him.  We were talking quite alright but I nodded absent mindedly to a lot of what he was saying because something else was struggling with my attention…my mobile phone.

Now that Papa is no more, that incident remains one of my regrets. If given a second chance to relive that very day with my father, I would readily throw away that phone and give him my undivided attention. Even if all he wants to do is tell stories (he has told me a dozen times before) all over again.

What am I trying to say? Don’t take the moments with people in your space for granted.  Especially your loved ones. They may not be there by the time your mind wanders back to them.

Life is brief. Let’s live accordingly!