150+ really morbid jokes for lovers of edgy dark humour

2 weeks ago 1

Sensitive topics can be challenging to joke about. While many people throw these tough conversations under the rug, it can be healthy to confront them. Morbid jokes are a perfect way for people to bring up taboo topics in a light way.

Dark humour jokes are not for everyone. Some people are easily offended and would not appreciate others criticising sensitive topics. Therefore, these funny quotes have to be used discerningly.

Morbid jokes to use

Dark humour isn't for everyone, but it can be the perfect escape for those who appreciate a dash of the morbid mixed with wit. If you are a fan of humour that pushes boundaries and challenges the conventional, below are some of the best morbid jokes you could use.

Dark jokes about terminal illness and death

The impending death of a loved one can be hard to deal with. These funny dark jokes and puns will lighten the mood and let the sick focus on something else, even briefly.

Dark humour is like a child with cancer; it never gets old.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer? There is no stage 5.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.
When I die, I want to go how my grandfather died peacefully in his sleep—not screaming like the passengers in his car.
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.
My mother died when we couldn't remember her blood type. She repeatedly told us to be positive, but it's hard without her.
What does the cannibal call a pregnant woman? A meal deal.
What is a terrorist's biggest fear? Dying alone.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep. There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
My grandfather was complaining about how kids nowadays cannot live without technology. So, I unplugged his life support.
I want to thank Covid 19 for making me the youngest millionaire. I got to collect my inheritance early.
My girlfriend left me because I work in a mortuary. Now she's dead. Guess who's dying to see me.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her an identical one. She screamed, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
What did the cops find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower? Head and Shoulders.
Pixar has finally made a movie for kids with cancer. It's called Finding Chemo.
What's the difference between me and cancer? My dad didn't beat cancer.

Dark humour jokes that cross the line for adults

Dark humour is not just about making people laugh. Sometimes, it is about testing limits and exploring the taboo. Here are some dark humour jokes that are unapologetically bold and push social norms with razor-sharp wit.

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals? Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
Why was the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
My grandmother asked me if I'd visit her after she left the hospital. I said no, I don't like going to graveyards.
Where did Lucy go after the bombing? Everywhere.
My ex-girlfriend was recently in a car accident. I told the doctor the wrong blood type. Now, she'll truly know what rejection feels like.
Wives are like grenades. If you pull the ring, the house is gone.
Why was the anti-vaxxer's four-year-old kid stressed? He was having a midlife crisis.
New Yorkers are the fastest readers in the world. In 2001, they went through 97 stories in 5 seconds.
My favourite childhood memory is building sandcastles with my grandpa. That is, until my mom took the urn away.
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of. It's in my basement.
My therapist said I should write letters to people who've wronged me and burn them. Done, but what do I do with the letters?
I saw my mom chopping onions today, so I started crying. Onions was a good dog.
What's the most challenging part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.
I thought opening the door for a lady was being a gentleman, but she just screamed and went flying out of the plane.
Don't make 9/11 jokes. They're just plane wrong.
Did you know that Anne Frank was gay? She never got the chance to come out of the closet.
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.

Darkest jokes about orphans and adopted kids

Admittedly, there is nothing funny about being an orphan. It can be sad and lonely, and they miss their parents. Therefore, even the best orphan jokes can go wrong if told to the wrong audience. Still, these morbid jokes will crack you up.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much? Because it's the only way they'll ever get love.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why did the orphan rob a bank? To be wanted.
What’s the difference between a baseball player and my dad? Only one runs home.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
What is an orphan’s least favourite song? We are Family.
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan? Homeless.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humour? Because it can't hit home
I made a website for orphans, but unfortunately, it doesn't have a home page.
What's an orphan's favourite Roblox game? Adopt me.
Where do all the orphan chickens go to? In foster farms.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips? Parent Signature: _______
Why don't orphans play hide and seek? Because no one will look for them.
What did the priest say to Jimmy Saville when they visited the orphanage? Let's prey.
Why is ET better than an orphan? ET was actually able to call home.
Why do orphans hate Geometry? Because it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.
Why don't orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can't find the motherboard.
I wish I could help you, Johny, but you are an orphan, and I am a family doctor.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
Why did the orphan turn out to be a criminal? They wanted to find out what it was like to be wanted for once in his life.
Why should cemeteries be built next to orphanages? So the orphans can see their parents.
There is an advantage to being an orphan: every bag of chips is family-size.
Welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make it; we take it.
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.
What do orphans call their parents? Unicorns because they don't exist.
What store does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.

Short morbid jokes about racial discrimination

Even in the 21st century, many people still face racial discrimination. These short, dark-humny jokes that cross the line can help identify a racist friend in your group, depending on their answer. And while racism may not be funny, these dark jokes about it can help make light of the struggle.

What's an Arab's first move in chess? C4.
My Chinese friend died last week. So Yung.
What do you call a blind German? A not-see.
The joke was so dark that an American cop almost shot it.
That joke is so dark that it's picking cotton in Alabama.
What do you call a swimming Muslim? A bath bomb.
The most popular game in Africa is called the Hunger Games.
Who had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.
Why did the slave go to college? To get his master's degree.
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa? Because they make the toys.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
Why does Batman cover only half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
What do you call a bunch of white people sitting on a bench? The NBA.
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt? Bolt can actually finish a race.
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
Why are people in Japan so thin? Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
My kidnapper only brought one bag to dispose of my body. Unlike the mean girls, at least he thinks I'm skinny.
What's the difference between a black guy and a model? A model volunteers to get shot.
What’s the difference between Americans and computers? Americans don’t have troubleshooting.
Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a history of separating colours.
Did you know Germany came up with sparkling water? I mean, who else would think of adding gas?
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW's exhaust, but the engine failed. That's the first time German engineering failed to gas someone.

Morbid jokes for adults that are borderline offensive

Part of the allure of dark jokes is their potential to offend the audience. So, what is the difference between good and bad dark humour jokes? The execution.

What is a necrophiliac's safe word? I'm alive.
Why can't blind people eat fish? Because it's sea (see) food.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? The special forces.
How do you surprise a blind kid? You leave a plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a bi-person on fire? LGBBQ.
Dark humour is like food; not everybody gets it.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
What's a kidnapper's favourite shoe? White vans.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of children.
What has 50 legs but can't walk? 25 disabled people.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture in the house.
How do you donate money to terrorists? Just pay your taxes.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama? The last name after marriage.
What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
What do you call a pirate that urinates on people? ARR Kelly.
I asked Siri why I was single. She responded by opening my front camera.
Why didn't the guy in the wheelchair enjoy the show? Because it was stand-up comedy.
I told a guy in a wheelchair being bullied to stand up for himself. He couldn’t stand my advice.
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
Don't break somebody's heart; they only have one. Break their bones instead; they have 206.
I never understood school shooting jokes. They must be aimed at younger audiences.
Any joke can be funny with the proper delivery. Except for jokes about terminating a pregnancy because there is no delivery.
On average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys. This is partially because most humans don't like the taste of monkeys.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realised she has dyslexia.
I started a business selling landmines disguised as praying mats. Business is booming.
If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she's seeing someone. It's either terrible news or great news.
My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.
Genders are like the Twin Towers. There used to be two, and now it's a sensitive subject.
I just took my plan B with Red Bull. That baby is going to get its wings one way or another.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
Why did God make man before woman? Because he didn't want any advice on how to do it.
What's the most challenging part about sleeping with a blind woman? Matching her husband's voice.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he said it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
What's the difference between Manchester United and a tea bag? A tea bag stays in the cup for longer.

One-liner morbid jokes

Sometimes, a quick line is all it takes to deliver a punch of dark humour. The best one-liner morbid jokes are short and sharp and leave a lasting impact. They are perfect for those with a taste for humour on the grim side.

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
I finally quit my job at the cemetery; it was just dead-end work.
I once had a life coach... but they gave up on me first.
My grandpa has the heart of a lion—and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I told my therapist I was feeling suicidal, and now he makes me pay in advance.
I have a lot of skeletons in my closet, but that's because they're cheaper in bulk.
My doctor said I have an incurable disease. I told him I hope it's not contagious.
When life gives you lemons, squeeze them over the open wounds of your enemies.
People say laughter is the best medicine, but I think cyanide works faster.
The morgue called; they wanted their sense of humour back.
I don’t see the glass as half full or half empty—I see it as half poison.
I’d tell you a joke about death, but it’ll just kill the mood.
I used to hate facial hair, but now I'm starting to get the hang of it.
If I go missing, please put my face on a milk carton—I’d finally feel wanted.
I asked for life advice, and all I got was, 'Turn back!'
I tried stand-up comedy, but the audience just stared at me blankly.
I'm a lot like a funeral—everyone shows up for the free snacks.
Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking-hot body.
I could never be a heart surgeon—I’d just break up with my patients.
My life’s like a movie... unfortunately, it’s a documentary.
I told my partner I’d love them to death—and now they sleep with one eye open.
I used to think the brain was the most important organ... then I remembered who was telling me that.

Morbid jokes on Reddit

If there is one place where dark humour thrives in all its twisted glory, it is Reddit. This is home to some of the sharpest, darkest jokes that test the limits of what is acceptable. Below are some of the morbid jokes on Reddit.

My grief counsellor died. He was so good, I didn’t even care. - Shin
How do you know if a country girl is a virgin? Have her and her brothers race. If she is faster than them, she is a virgin. - AdPuzzleheaded4795
How many babies does it take to paint the wall? Depends on how hard you throw them. - LazyRedditBrowser
How do you cure a ginger? Chemotherapy. - Soapd1sh
What's the difference between dark humour and morbid humour? Dark humour is 10 babies in a bin. Morbid humour is 1 baby in 10 bins. - Roku-Hanmar
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair. - MoonK1ng
What's the difference between a church and a boy? The church doesn't scream when the priest goes inside it. - GhostProtester
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Nail a piece of toast to the ceiling. - Bromlin
What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can’t be found. - Affectionatesardine
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is. - Frank7570
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask which period it came from. - ChrisHernandez
What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped his ass. - Dissapointedorikface
What's the difference between John Travolta and the Earth? The Earth still has a Sun. - Dissapointedorikface
What's red, 10 inches long, and makes your girlfriend cry when you try to put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage. - Thehealeroftri
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the look on its face as you climax. - Donnerpartyof1

What are morbid jokes?

Morbid jokes are a type of humour that involves subjects typically considered grim or taboo, such as death, illness, or tragedy. They often rely on shock value and can make light of serious situations, appealing to those who appreciate a more irreverent or unconventional sense of humour.

What qualifies as dark comedy?

Dark comedy, also known as black humour, involves satirizing subjects that are typically serious or taboo, such as death, war, or crime. This genre uses irony and cynicism to highlight the absurdity of these situations, allowing audiences to confront uncomfortable truths in a humorous way.

What is golden comedy?

Golden comedy refers to a style of humour that is timeless, witty, and universally appealing. It is often characterized by clever dialogue and relatable themes. Golden comedy is highly regarded for its ability to entertain diverse audiences across different generations without relying on offensive or controversial material.

What is a dark genre called?

A dark genre encompasses stories exploring mystery, horror, and the macabre. These genres typically involve a moody atmosphere, complex characters, and moral ambiguity, engaging audiences with suspenseful and often unsettling narratives.

Many people would consider dark humour disgusting and insensitive. However, lovers of edgy humour know that morbid jokes can be cathartic. Additionally, the best dark puns require the audience to be smart enough to grasp them.

Legit.ng recently published a list of funny late-night thoughts that don’t make sense in the morning. Late-night thoughts are reflections that keep you up at night or those that do not let you sleep at night. These thoughts make sense at night.

However, you realise that they don't make sense in the morning. It is not easy to categorise late-night thoughts because you can easily forget them during the day or think deeply about them without a concrete conclusion.

Source: Legit.ng

Authors:

Adrianna Simwa (Lifestyle writer) Adrianna Simwa is a content writer at Legit.ng where she has worked since mid-2022. She has written for many periodicals on a variety of subjects, including news, celebrities, and lifestyle, for more than three years. She has worked for The Hoth, The Standard Group and Triple P Media. Adrianna graduated from Nairobi University with a Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA) in 2020. In 2023, Simwa finished the AFP course on Digital Investigation Techniques. You can reach her through her email: adriannasimwa@gmail.com

Wilbroda Onyango (Lifestyle writer) Wilbroda Onyango is a content creator and writer with over 4 years of experience. She has worked as an entertainment journalist, creating content across over 5 African countries, most notably for Zalebs.com, Young, Gifted & Blacc, and Africa New Media Group. Wilbroda joined Legit.com as a writer in June 2022, covering celebrity biographies, guides and listicles for Ask Legit. In 2023, Wilbroda finished the AFP course on Digital Investigation Techniques. Email: akinyionyango@yahoo.com

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