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The discourse surrounding transgender rights has seen significant evolution over the past decades.
Globally, many countries have embraced legal frameworks to support and protect transgender individuals, reflecting an increased societal recognition of diverse gender identities.
However, for Nigerian parents living abroad, these changes often come with a mix of confusion and concern.
Balancing traditional Nigerian values with the evolving legal and social realities of their host countries presents a unique challenge.
There have been several reports of some schools in the United States and United Kingdom teaching children about genders other than male and female.
Some textbooks in certain states in the US, for instance, were also reportedly changed to reflect these realities.
However, several people, especially parents of African descent, have expressed concern, asking that the government rescind its decision.
Recently, a distressed father pleaded with a top UK consultant breast and oncoplastic surgeon, Mohsen El Gammal, to refrain from performing a transgender surgery on his 20-year-old daughter, fearing the procedure would ruin her life.
In the letter, the father cautioned the surgeon that his daughter had a history of depression, self-harm, and starving herself before becoming involved with the “trans cult.”
The father, who requested anonymity to safeguard his daughter’s privacy, shared the letter with The Mail on Sunday.
The letter read, “Ultimately, my daughter is depressed. She sought the highs that came from cutting herself; from starving herself; from being taken for a boy; from taking testosterone; and now from having her breasts removed.
“She needs to learn that life is not one long adrenaline buzz – that happiness is a more moderate feeling, that comes from within and derives from finding a place and purpose in life.
“You are fuelling her problem. Not helping to resolve it. Please do not remove my daughter’s breasts. You will, in one day – a day you will quickly forget – ruin her life forever.”
The father stated that the doctor would rob his daughter of the opportunity to breastfeed her future children and limit her potential partners in life.
He emphasised that the surgery would cause her irreversible harm.
“She is 20 years old. Which of us knew at 20 what we would know or think at 30? Which of us understood ourselves in the way we do at 60? Which of us did not do things we almost immediately regretted? If you do choose to operate, perhaps you will take the time while she is anaesthetised to look at the extensive scarring on her arms and legs.
“These are the scars of the self-harming craze she participated in during her mid-teens. This was before she got into starving herself. All this before she started participating in the ‘trans cult’,” the father said.
He told The Mail that he has never received an acknowledgement for the letter, which he sent in May to the private Cadogan Clinic in Chelsea, West London.
Despite her father’s emotional plea, The Mail reports that his 20-year-old daughter is understood to have undergone a double mastectomy surgery in June, a procedure that involved the removal of both breasts.
When contacted, the clinic informed The Mail that it could not comment on family disagreements.
Also, the world’s richest man, Elon Musk, shared that his son, Xavier, now known as Vivian, underwent a gender transition during the pandemic after receiving prescribed medication.
However, Nigerian parents in the Diaspora who spoke to our correspondent expressed fear over the trending development, noting that their kids were no longer safe.
An elementary school teacher based in the United Kingdom, who refused to be named for fear of retribution, said he could not imagine any of his four children telling him they were transgender.
He said, “I am scared of these transgender people. It is making me scared. I am not homophobic. I have lived in the UK for over 12 years. One of my kids is nine years old. The other is six.
“The other two are four and two. Imagine if one of them comes to tell me that he or she is transgender. I can just die. I can’t take it. They are exposed to all these things and it scares me.”
His wife, a care worker, said she ‘shields’ her kids from ‘those people’.
She said, “If I had my way, I would send my children back to Nigeria to mature first. I don’t want my kids to be ‘infected’ with this virus. It is a virus. I am a Christian. I am African. This thing is un-African. I don’t want problems for my lineage.”
A woman, who moved to the UK in 2022, expressed similar concerns.
“I am in London, and these people (transgender people) are everywhere. I don’t hate them. God knows. I am just scared for my kids.
“As a Nigerian woman, what will I tell my people if any of my children come to tell me they are transgender? I won’t be able to take it. My heart will not be able to take it,” she said.
Another man, a single father of one boy living in Canada, while commenting on the development, said, “I will protect my child” when our correspondent reached out to him for an interview.
In the US, a Nigerian father, who gave his name simply as Yinka, said he was open-minded but would not allow any of his kids to have transgender surgery.
“I don’t have an issue with them identifying as anything they want to identify as, as long as it is safe for them; but I would never let any doctor tamper with my children’s bodies for any reason,” Yinka, a construction worker, said.
Understanding transgender identity
The term “transgender” refers to individuals whose gender identity differs from the sex assigned at birth.
Gender identity, according to a senior psychologist based in Uyo, Akwa Ibom State, Usen Essien, is an internal understanding of oneself as male, female, both, neither, or somewhere along the gender spectrum.
He said, “Gender identity contrasts with biological sex, which encompasses physical attributes such as chromosomes, hormone levels, and reproductive organs. Gender expression is how individuals present their gender through clothing, behaviour, and other external manifestations.
“It can encompass a range of experiences, including non-binary and genderqueer identities. Non-binary individuals do not identify strictly as male or female, while genderqueer people may reject traditional gender distinctions altogether.”
According to the American Psychological Association, transgender people have a gender identity that does not align with their sex assigned at birth, and this can lead to significant psychological stress if not supported adequately.
Global transgender laws, policies
The legal landscape for transgender individuals varies significantly across countries.
Nations like the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia have developed diverse approaches to recognising and protecting transgender rights.
In the United States, for instance, the legal environment is marked by a patchwork of state laws regarding transgender rights.
States such as California and New York have enacted comprehensive protections, including the right to gender-affirming healthcare and legal gender changes, according to the website of the State of California and New York City Human Rights Commission.
Conversely, states like Arkansas and Tennessee have introduced restrictive measures, such as bans on gender-affirming care for minors, reflecting ongoing debates and legal battles, according to the American Civil Liberties Union, 2023.
For instance, in 2021, Reuters reported that Arkansas passed a law banning gender-affirming treatments for minors, a move that was challenged in court and remains contentious.
In the UK, the Gender Recognition Act (2004) provides a legal process for individuals to change their gender legally.
However, the Act has faced criticism for its complexity and restrictive nature. Recent discussions have focused on whether the GRA adequately addresses the needs of transgender individuals, particularly regarding access to healthcare and legal recognition, BBC News reported in 2022.
For example, the Equality and Human Rights Commission in 2022 stated that the GRA requires individuals to provide medical evidence and undergo a lengthy process, which has been critiqued as overly bureaucratic.
Canada adopted progressive policies supporting transgender rights, including access to gender-affirming healthcare and legal recognition of gender identity. The Canadian Human Rights Act and various provincial laws protect against discrimination based on gender identity.
Canada’s approach is seen as a model for inclusive legislation, with ongoing efforts to enhance support for transgender individuals, CBC News reported in 2022.
Australia has similarly progressive policies, with legal recognition of gender identity and access to healthcare services.
The Australian Human Rights Commission emphasises that protections are in place, though there are calls for further improvements in healthcare access and legal processes.
Recent initiatives aim to streamline procedures for legal gender changes and improve support services for transgender individuals, according to The Guardian in a 2023 report.
African countries like Nigeria, Ghana and the like are not as free to LGBT+ persons.
For instance, in Nigeria, the Same-Sex Marriage Prohibition Act (2014) criminalises same-sex activities.
Although the law is silent on transgender people, many trans persons have expressed fear of stigmatisation and judgment, as they are just a microcosm of the larger LGBT+ community.
Impact on Nigerian Diaspora families
For Nigerian parents living abroad, navigating the evolving legal frameworks related to transgender rights can be particularly challenging.
Traditional Nigerian views on gender and sexuality often hold rigid beliefs about gender roles, which can clash with the legal realities of their host countries.
A sociologist, Dr Nneka Orji, said the Nigerian culture, influenced by a mix of traditional beliefs and religious values, often maintains strict gender norms.
She said, “These cultural perspectives can create difficulties for parents trying to reconcile their traditional views with the progressive policies of their host countries.
“For example, some parents may fear the implications of their children undergoing gender reassignment or hormone treatments and worry about losing control over their children’s lives.”
However, Essien noted that supportive environments are crucial for the mental health and well-being of transgender individuals.
He noted that studies indicate that transgender youth who receive support from their families and communities experience better mental health outcomes compared to those who lack such support.
He said, “Diasporan families have nothing to fear. The World Health Organisation in 2022 noted that supportive environments can mitigate issues such as depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation among transgender individuals.
“Nigerian parents ought to understand these psychological benefits as essential in addressing their fears. The anxiety expressed by some Nigerian parents about their children undergoing gender transitions often stems from broader concerns about identity and cultural preservation).
“By recognising the importance of support and acceptance, parents can better navigate the complexities of transgender issues.”
He also added that the fears expressed by Nigerian parents are often rooted in a broader context of cultural and identity anxieties.
“Immigrant communities, including Nigerian families abroad, may face challenges related to assimilation and cultural preservation while navigating the legal and social changes in their host countries.
“These fears can manifest in concerns about their children’s well-being and the potential erosion of traditional values.
“Fear changes nothing. Care and support is everything,” he added.
Strategies for engagement
For Nigerian parents in the diaspora, engaging with their children’s experiences and understanding gender identity is crucial.
Many of the parents who spoke to our correspondent asked some crucial questions: How do I tell my child about our Nigerian cultural stance on transgender matters? What do I do if my child tells me he or she is transgender? How do I ‘protect’ my child from ‘over-exposure’ to gender identity education in modern democracies?
Orji, responding to some of the questions, encouraged Nigerian parents living in the Diaspora to seek counselling, participate in community support groups and join cultural groups abroad.
She added that imbibing personal values of morals to their children from birth might be a good way to start.
She also encouraged the parents themselves to be vast in gender identity and sexuality education to be able to speak to their children about it without any fear.
“Engaging in open, non-judgmental conversations with children can help bridge the gap between traditional beliefs and contemporary realities,” she added.
Organisations such as PFLAG and the Trevor Project also have some resources to help diasporan families navigate these complex issues.
Importance of dialogue
If a Nigerian child living in the Diaspora comes out to their parents as trans, experts note that there must be an environment of dialogue and honest cultural sensitivity so as not to throw the child and bath water away.
For instance, a behavioural therapist, Sandra Atemie, based in the US, noted that parents must learn to have open dialogue with their children to make sure they all understand the cultural values shared in their specific communities despite being abroad.
She said, “In the US, and other modern democracies around the world, it is a crime to stigmatise or dehumanise a child who comes out either as gay, bisexual or transgender. You can’t beat them up, lock them up and force them to change. You cannot pray it away. It is beyond the purview of a parent even if you are from another society far, far away.
“Open discussions about gender identity and the legal rights of transgender individuals can help Nigerian families reconcile their cultural beliefs with the legal and social realities of their host countries.
Embracing empathy and understanding can facilitate a more supportive environment for both parents and their children.”
The evolving global landscape of transgender laws presents both opportunities and challenges for Nigerian parents in the diaspora.
Balancing traditional cultural values with the legal and social realities of host countries requires understanding, empathy, and open dialogue.
By engaging with support resources and fostering understanding, Nigerian families can better navigate these complex issues and support their children effectively.
Call to action
Community engagement and supportive dialogues are crucial for addressing the concerns of Nigerian parents and promoting understanding within the diaspora.
Embracing empathy and legal awareness can help create a more inclusive and supportive environment for all individuals.
Navigating the complexities of transgender laws and gender identity discussions can be particularly challenging for Nigerian parents whose children are inquisitive about their sexual identity, especially when living in the diaspora such as the US, UK, or Canada.
It’s understandable to feel a mix of confusion, concern, and tension given the differences in cultural attitudes and legal frameworks surrounding gender identity in these countries compared to Nigeria.
However, research has shown that approaching discussions about gender identity with empathy, seeking professional guidance, and understanding the sociological and legal frameworks in one’s new country can help alleviate your concerns and support your child effectively.
English (US) ·