Rights, Righteousness And Responsibilities In A Refreshing Family

GENESIS 2:18,21-24; PSALM 68:6; MATTHEW 19:4–8 Genesis 2:18,21-24 

– 18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

– 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

– 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

– 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

– 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Psalms 68:6

– God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.

Matthew 19:4-8

– 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

– 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

– 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

– 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

– 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

Genesis 2:18,24. This is the foundation of the family – general and everywhere, and the Christian family in particular.

Psalm 68:6.  God takes the prerogative and initiative to set solitary men and women in families. He also sets those in chains of bondage free. There are different kinds of chains – physical, spiritual, traditional, and tribal, but God cuts them all off. But the rebellious – those who refuse to marry and choose to dwell alone, either a man or a woman will dwell on dry land because they failed to align with the purpose and will of God. It is not the will of God for anyone to be alone, He wants one to complement the other in marriage. But there are those who are married, but behave as if they are not, and prefer to be alone. God knows what is best for us. They are rebellious and will live on dry land.

Matthew 19:4. For anything going on in your family, and for you to know that you are in the center of the will of God in your marriage, go back to the Bible. God instituted marriage at the beginning by creating male and female, and 4,000 years after, Jesus commanded the people to go back to the beginning, and compare their families to how God wanted it to be. He did not point them to the marriages of some people (Abraham, a David, etc) in the old testament because they were not so good. We are not to compare our lives with anyone’s, but to the beginning when God made them male and female.

vs 5. It is not the will of God for husbands and wives to live apart, separated by distances as far as countries. Whatever the reason, they should be together. The man will leave his parents and cleave to his wife – living, planning, working and exercising everything together with the same mind, goal, etc.

vs 6. They are no more two, but one, with one mind, goal and direction. The couple must work together, and see everything as same, and be of the same mind when counseling the children. What God has joined together must not be separated by anyone, ideologies, management, circumstances, places of abode, economy, religious traditions, self will, etc. Don’t say you are more at peace without your spouse. You should be together.

We are looking at RIGHTS, RIGHTEOUSNESS AND RESPONSIBILITIES IN A REFRESHING FAMILY. I pray that God will refresh our families in Jesus name.

1. THE FOUNDATION OF HELPFULNESS IN THE CLEAVING FAMILY (Genesis 2:18,24; Ecclesiastes 4:9-10; Proverbs 31:10-22; 2 Samuel 10:11; Matthew 19:4-6; )

God said it is not good that the man should be alone. Because of this, the man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. This was laid down for us and the rest of the world because at that time Adam and Eve had no parents. Marriage is for:

– Partnership

– Purity

– Protection

– Preservation

– Procreation – to raise Godly seeds

Genesis 2:24. God created them man and woman. They must fulfill each other’s desires. No avoiding one another, looking the other way, pretending to read the newspapers, watching television, games, you must be available for your spouse. May God reset our families in Jesus name

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10. Two are better than one, no matter what you know, whatever your background, level of wisdom, etc. Even when Adam was so wise to the point of naming all animals on earth, he still needed a spouse. When Eve fell, instead of lifting her, Adam fell with her. Who knows what God would have done if he had interceded on her behalf? Marriage was given for us to be help meets to ourselves.

Proverbs 31:10-31. There are so many women, but God still has to provide her among the very many available. A good wife doesn’t give her husband trouble, and she gives him no reason to doubt her whether she is with her husband or not. She will do him good all the days of her life, she is a help meet, suitable and fit for him. She does so many things to make his life, emotions and temper better. She always want to serve him because he himself is always working hard to provide for the family and them happy. A good wife will not upload part her problems upon her husband to make him sad.

2 Samuel 10:11 “And he said, If the Syrians be too strong for me, then thou shalt help me: but if the children of Ammon be too strong for thee, then I will come and help thee.” Help should come from both sides, the husband will help the wife and vice-versa. Don’t carry any burden alone – whatever it is, on any issue, or on any challenge over any of the children. Don’t share it with outsiders, but with your spouse, this is how God planned it.

Matthew 19:4-6. No one is wiser than God. When the earth was empty and God began to create, He didn’t make two or more women for Adam. God wanted the earth to be replenished, yet, He didn’t create more women for him. At that time, there was nothing like she must be able to cook, be able to do this, or that, be like this, etc. All complications of requests we give to God are not necessary. In His wisdom, He created Eve, and in His wisdom, He has given you the best.  The mother must not come and impose herself on the family, looking into what is cooked for her son, or how they are spending money. Same for the father or any member of the extended family. The couple must be one in everything, and not allow a third party to have a way between them.

There must be no room for separation – one of the couple wanting to be apart. Don’t seek counsel from anyone who will plant evil seeds in your heart, and cause separation between you. Look away from all the problems and God will roll them away in Jesus name. He will solve them all in Jesus name.

1. FRUSTRATION WITHOUT HOLINESS IN THE COMMON FAMILY (1 Timothy 2:15; Titus 2:3-5;

1 Timothy 2:15 “Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.”

Examine the Fall of the Family when there is no Holiness:

#H – Harshness instead of Helpfulness (Job 2:9-10; 26:2-3) Job’s wife did not stand by her husband when he had challenges and lost all that he had. She told him to curse God and díe. That was not what she ought to have said to him.

#O – Opposition instead of Oneness (2 Samuel 6:16, 20–23; John 17:17,21) What God wants is that a couple will be one, and not in opposition to one to the other. Michal the daughter of Saul despised David in her heart as he danced before the Lord because the ark of the Covenant of the Lord had returned to Israel. Then David came back to bless his household, and she said terrible words to him, and opposed her husband. Holiness oneness, and not opposing the other person. She should have said her husband had a reason to do what he did, not condemning him.

#L – Lying instead of Loving (Acts 5:3,9) Ananias and his wife, Saphirrah united to lie to the Holy Ghost.

#I – Importunity without Innocence (Judges 16:16-21) Samson went to a foreign land to get a wife even though there were women in Israel. At the end, the strange woman pressured him until he had to expose the source of his strength.

#N – Negligence of the New Nature (Hebrews 2:3; 2 Peter 1:3-4) It is profitable for the couple to have the same heart in the new nature. God has power to give them all things, including a new nature. When there is conflict and clashing, both should go back to the Cross so that their hearts become softened by the power of the Lord. Both sides must not be negligent of the new nature.

#E – Endangerment instead of Empowerment (Proverbs 7:21,26-27) There must never be any situation where one spouse puts things or rearranges things in the house in a way to endánger the life of the other person. Instead, empower the other person with prior information to be saved from a fall.

#S – Self-selling instead of Standard-spreading (1 Kings 21:25) Jezebel was so much in control of the family that Ahab forgot all laid-down rules and regulations God gave to all kings in Israel. He sold himself to the devíl, he was no longer

Some people sell their conviction and courage, and all that they were doing before marriage they stop doing as soon as the partner is not convinced about it. Some men bother more about what their wives say, than what the Scriptures say. They no longer think of the coming of the Lord, they only want to please their wives.

#S – Scheming instead of Supporting (Genesis 27:5,6; Proverbs 31:10–12) Christian women don’t scheme, but they support. Instead of scheming to oust Esau from the blessing, Rebecca ought to have wisely and prayerfully talked to her husband and reminded him of her dream, and see how to pacify Esau. Isaac would still have given Esau some blessing, but not the birthright, because God has ordained to be called God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The scheming would not have been necessary. This is what ruìns the family – scheming instead of supporting.

1. THE FOUNTAIN OF HEALTH IN THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY (Ephesians 5:22-33)

The Lord has given us so many promises in Scriptures – Exodus 23:25-26; Psalm 103:3-5; 105:37; 107:20; Isaiah 53:4-5; 1 Peter 2:24; 3 John vs 2 and we have the fountain of health in families. Both husbands and wives should age gracefully, happy, holy and healthily. God comfirm it in your lives in Jesus name.

Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Culture, tradition, psychology of the world, civilization, the West do not teach this, but the Scriptures. The wife must submit to her husband as the head of the family, not as some culture that teaches 50/50% or some that apportion up to 60% of power to women and 40% to the husband in the home. Men should love their wives as Christ loved the Church and He is the Head of the Church and Saviour of the body. Have time for your wife as Christ had time for the Church and gave Himself for her. The way I like to preach is that after the message, you can go to my wife and ask how much of what I preach I practise. By the grace of God, I practice what I preach and I pass the grace to you. You will practise what you preach in Jesus name.

#H – Homely Heart Holiness (1 Timothy 2:8-15) We must keep ourselves away from the world, but when we get home, we must express ourselves to our spouses. This is the holiness that fits the home. No wrath, anger, slapping anyone, and there is no doubting, but to pray, lifting up holy hands everywhere.

#E – Expedient Essential Expense (1 Timothy 5:6-8) Couples must be open and transparent to one another. There must be proper planning before anything is spent. Every woman must be concerned about the family first, not buying aṣọ-ẹbí or attending events – weddings, events, burials within and outside the country. Only essential expenses should matter. A woman who does not care about food, school fees, and rents, but to attend events lives in pleasure and is dèad while she lives. Anyone who fails to prepare for his family has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel even if he teaches, testifies or sings.

#A – Appropriate Affectionate Assistance (John 13:34-35) This is what keeps the home healthy – helping one another joyfully and lovingly without complaints.

#L – Learning, Leaving, Cleaving Love (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:28-33) Learn to leave your parents and cleave to your spouse. Your old friends must not take your attention from your spouse. We must not allow people outside the home to come between us and our spouses. Our attention must be towards our them. No kind of work – volunteer or paying jobs or activities must be allowed to take our time away from our husband or wife. A man must leave his parents, friends and other acquaintances and cleave to his wife.

#T – Tender, Truthful Tongue (Proverbs 15:1-4) We can say same thing – “Amen, thank you or well done” – in either soft or harsh, soft or sarcastic tone. Christian husbands and wives must learn to speak gently to one another even when correcting one another. Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”

#H – Hygienic, Happy Homelines (Ecclesiastes 9:7-10) We must keep our homes clean as if we are expecting visitors. Everything must be well-arranged and mosquitoes must not be allowed in. Put nets on all your windows. The husband is higher than the visitor, so, prepare the home well for him just as you do when important visitors are coming. Happiness, merriment, joy, and health in your home.

My prayer for every home in our church is that there will be a great upliftment in Jesus name. Whatever the needs are, the Lord will supply them. Forget the past and let us raise the standard of happiness, holiness, health and helpfulness. Better homes for everyone of us in Jesus name.

Take everything you have learned to the Lord in prayer.